On a Friday night not so long ago my wife Kathy and I went to a concert in Cary, North Carolina. This is a relatively more affluent town close to where we live that in many ways reminds me of Boca Raton, Florida. The tendency towards certain color palettes in this higher priced area and the shopping seems to be what strikes the eye first. In case you haven’t already heard, the town of Cary is also an acronym and it is well known as a “concentrated area of relocated Yankees”.
This was just another concert as far as I was concerned. We expected to enjoy the music and were glad to go. I didn’t expect that the venue would be all that crowded or rowdy and it wasn’t. The drive to Regency Park was not new to us and the facilities are nice. If fact they are probably the nicest that I’ve seen anywhere. Almost everything there looks new. The views include a nearby lake and pine trees surround the place. Certain acts, venues and pricing draw their own types of audiences too. I did my level best to leave any preconceptions at home before we left. We would enjoy the night out and that was that.
We got there a bit early, that’s a tendency some of us have that I’ve never been able to break. That usually allows one to look around, “check out the facilities” so to say and settle in at the right seat before the lights dim. The weather has been getting a bit cooler recently and the leaves are only starting to change color now. Being early to events is a real tension breaker and we sat down a few minutes before the first band came up on stage and sipped my first and only beer of the night.
Act one for the night was the “Blue Dogs” http://www.bluedogs.com/ and we were pleasantly surprised with what I thought was a good performance. It’s worth noting that just as the sun set in the sky and before Blue Dogs came out, that the couple (mother and son) next to us were challenged for their tickets and discovered that they were in the wrong place. They moved a bit closer to center stage. We were in the second row and that meant that there was only one set of heads and bodies between us and who was on stage. We were seated in those cheap lawn chairs that are usually provided by the venue and the ground was covered with pine straw. We could smell the crowd (soap and perfume) over the damp ground. Behind us was a family with about four kids in their preteen years.
It was a clear night, we wore long sleeves(and jackets). There were no mosquitoes. We were left of center stage or close to the bass speakers but the seats should have been decent. The sound would occasionally make your innards rumble. We were definately in Cary.
At 8:30 the main act “Hootie and the Blowfish” http://www.hootie.com/ took the stage and we witnessed what I would say was a respectable performance. They did a good job doing what they do and the sound was great. They played a number of songs in tribute to the troops serving in the Middle East and made a few jokes about each other and were pretty good at keeping the audience involved. I’d make a positive recommendation to anyone who happened to ask about the venue and the groups we saw that night.
Unfortunately that wasn’t everything I have to relate about the experience because after all, we were in Cary, North Carolina. This usually means that there is at least one especially self-absorbed individual in the audience that deserves some special note. I won’t give this individual a name because I don’t know him personally and it would require further explanation about someone I know only through his physical attributes and actions. I don’t want to get to know him and made no effort to either. Somewhere out there, other persons are living with or sharing space with this man and that is their problem for now at least for as long as it takes for him to move on.
I’m supposed to be 43 years old and I do not look for trouble anymore. I measure my actions and consider risks versus what one might actually accomplish now and knew that what I might have to say would probably not be very diplomatic. So I kept my mouth shut for once and learned from the experience. There are benefits to not acting like an ass sometimes I guess. For comparisons sake, I could mention an ex-neighbor of mine who is in prison now, all because of his so-called principals. He is proof that age and adulthood are not necessarily related. And so was the guy sitting in the seat in front of me.
You see I have no quarrels with large persons. This man was dimensionally challenged in the sense that normal seats didn’t fit him. Even seated it took an effort to see around his large head and shoulders. He was there with his significant (in both senses of the word, but shorter) other too. So why embarrass him? I didn’t. I didn’t do anything; I just enjoyed what I could of the show.
The man in front of me had a seat in the front row. From the time that the main band took the stage at exactly 8:30 and until the house lights came on after the show was over (about 10:30), he was standing. This meant that everyone behind him (who also paid good money) got to see his back and head, and not the band. He didn’t so much as sit down for half of one song. It’s worth noting that I did see some other tall men closer to center stage that displayed an obvious situational awareness and they sat down for short periods of time but the man in front of me never so much as turned around to look behind him. It’s conceivable that he knew he was obstructing the view for everyone who was unfortunate enough to be behind him. It was very likely that he just didn’t care too.
For as long as we are considering persons who are supposed to be adults, I admit that persons who don’t say what they mean or complain when there is a problem, don’t deserve to whine about what happens when they fail to make a real effort to communicate. I won’t whine. The concert was about more than “just me” or my personal enjoyment. On a separate note, I’ve decided to learn from the experience.
Forty-three years on this earth have taught me again (this probably ain’t the first or last time I learn this lesson either), that there are consequences for every action. Just because I might happen to be surrounded by a few self-absorbed individuals, that doesn’t mean I have to respond to every one of them. That man in the front row missed an opportunity to meet persons who are more aware of the world and more thoughtful than he was that night because he couldn’t be troubled to look around him. His concerns were focused on the band and the noise that it made and what it did for him. This overrode his responsibility as an adult to share. There were after all kids and persons behind him who wanted to see the show as much as he did and would have if he’d been more careful. After all, he didn’t become a “big person” in one night and should have been aware of the fact that his body was not transparent. Despite my disappointment in the man in front of us and in myself for the “experience” I’ve put the whole thing into perspective. His problems aren’t mine and I won’t share mine with him.
I walked away from that concert not thinking about Hootie or his blowfish or the folks that happened to be sitting in front of me. I was thinking about the lyrics of one of the songs from the first band that hit the stage. They might have been a little less polished but they were more appreciated. Here are the lyrics to the song that made the biggest impression on me.
http://www.top50lyrics.com/t/thebluedogs-lyrics-590/halfofmymistakes-lyrics-755021.html
It was a pretty song and all things considered, I don't think I really missed the show. The "Blue Dogs" rule!
